Tokyo Delve's Sushi Bar in North Hollywood (sake) Bombs

You don't have to enter the Tokyo Delve's Sushi Bar to know you're in for more than just fish.

    The four imposing 'security guards' manning the entrance wearing all black convey the message that visitors are in for a unique experience as they they usher guests into a red roped-off area against the side of the black, wooden building. Middle-aged women wearing skin-tight, zebra print dresses in an array of colors pull their readjust their bras as they try to keep their balance in their 3” stilettos.

    Foot tattoos and boyfriends in bowling shirts seem to be part of the dress code.

    Pigeons and flies swarm around Tokyo's neon sign, eyeing the impatient diners.

   After over a twenty minute wait to get in to the bar, the security guard-bouncers hand out neon-pink wristbands to the diners who could show they are over 21.

    They let the groups in individually and gradually. DJ Joe steps outside to greet the patrons  as he lets down the rope barrier.

   As the doors opens, guests are shoved into the bumping dining room, music blasting throughout the empty space.  Waiters clap and cheer as DJ Joe escorts diners to their tables. The whole scene resembles some sort of exuberant athletic event.  The tables are set up like a high school cafeteria, in cramped rows that are difficult to maneuver unless your hips are actually the size of a sophomore's.

   There is no indication outside of the building that Tokyo Delve is affiliateated with anything Irish, which makes the decor even more shocking.  The wallpaper is made up of 3D shamrocks against a hideous white background, like a lucky-charms themed birthday party gone wrong.  
    A gargantuan, eye-less shark head thrusts out of the wall. A still disco ball dangles from the ceiling amidst a net of Christmas lights intertwined with Chinese lanterns. The signs along the walls commanding "Kiss our sushi chefs, they're Irish" and "Happy St. Patty's Day" confirmed that the bar is not consistently filled with green, just for this week's festive theme.
    The waiters assume that the visitors will be drinking, offering cocktails and sake before guests are even seated.  Sake bombs abound. Nearly every table comes equipped with a plastic keg and a set of four beer mugs. The waiters, adorned in shamrock green shirts, chant along with the customers as the men bellow and the women screech “I yell sake, you yell bomb, SAKE! BOMB! SAKE! BOMB!” and pound on the table until the porcelain cups tumble into the golden, glass mugs.

    It is impossible to have a conversation at Tokyo. In order to hear each other, everyone is forced to lean into the center of the table and shout over the music and other rowdy guests.

    One dismayed customer confided in her table and said she “wants to work in a cubicle.”

    Tokyo Delve's menu is impressive in size, but not in selection.  The options are standard and uninteresting with tacky names like dynamite, red ninja and volcano. The menu also indicates that Tokyo specializes in large-group parties, ranging from bachelorette parties to baby showers and break-up parties.

    Every night DJ Joe hosts a birthday dance-off where the individuals who are there celebrating are asked to stand on chairs and dance. Two twin young women wearing matching white, skin-tight, spandex dresses and gold necklaces won the competition, their birthday hats askew and their dresses dangerously close to revealing their unmentionables. One waiter spanked one of the twins after she accepted her prize and DJ Joe admitted that he would “go home and make babies with [his] wife while thinking about [the twins].”

    The staff at Tokyo are disrespectful and demanding. The food took over a half an hour to arrive and many guests' drinks were diminished and never re-filled.

   The best think Tokyo has going for them is there presentation.  The fun-loving chefs interact with the guests, judging the dance contests, talking with the DJ, all while serving up beautifully placed rolls.

   The Rock 'N Roll specialty roll sounds tantalizing with shrimp tempura enveloped in avocado, carrots and rice, smothered with fried onions and sliced jalapenos. The presentation was lovely. The chef scattered golden brown onions around the plate and served the rolls leaning against each other in a domino affect. Alas the visual appeal was the only positive element of the dish. The roll itself was almost a third rice and the shrimp tempura was barely visible. The star of the roll was the jalapneno, although not in a good way. The spiciness was overpowering to the point of being inedible. The combination of the avocado, onion and pepper left no room for the shrimp to shine.

   The Yummy Yummy Roll was just as disappointing. Made with a creamy combination of avocado and cream cheese wrapped in rice, the dish sounds like it could be a scrumptious vegetarian option. However, the dish promises salmon, and barely delivers. There is no actual fish inside the roll. On top, the chefs adorn the roll with ground salmon and dynamite sauce. The roll itself was slightly mushy and fell apart easily. It was not filling and left little to the imagination.

    The Tempura California Roll was said listed as a favorite on the menu, and for obvious reasons. The traditional, local role is reasonably priced and tasty, if you're into the equivalent of fast-food sushi. It makes sense that the guests at Tokyo would enjoy the 'cooked' roll because what goes better with a keg of beer than fried things? If guests are looking to pair their beer with a roll of sushi, this is the way to go. But if you're looking for a fresh bite of fish, stay away.

   The vegetarian roll should be removed from the menu immediately. The chefs at Tokyo should be embarrassed to offer the item on the menu. Made up of a bulky head of broccoli, carrots and avocado, the roll was bland and unimaginative. It tasted like a bad 90s veggie tray wrapped in mushy rice. Even dipping it in the house spicy mayo didn't give the roll enough flavor to be considered enjoyable.

  The salmon sushi was by far the best part of the meal. A delicate piece of orange-pink fish placed perfectly across a bed of white rice was both aesthetically appealing and delectable. The confusing aspect of the dish was that along with the two generous pieces of sushi was a lemon wedge. I'm not sure if the lemon was for an edible purpose or mere presentation.  However, I have never seen lemon presented alongside sushi and did not enjoy consuming the two together.  Tokyo muddled the preciously simple dish.
   A mid-meal chicken dance is an unwanted interruption for some diners as waiters scamper around from table to table pulling resistant guests out of their seats, encouraging them to participate. One waiter even lifted the chair out from under a guest.  The group YMCA sessions retracted from the experience, making it seem even more forced and uncomfortable.  The waiters also did more dancing than serving, breaking out into several flash-mob style performances, including one to N*SYNC's Bye Bye Bye, climaxing with DJ Joe appearing shirtless wearing a fake, plastic 8-pack strapped to his chest before getting groped by the female diners who were within reach.

FAIR

Tokyo Delves Sushi Bar 5239 Lankershim Blvd. North Hollywood CA. 1.818.766.3868

ATMOSPHERE Like an adult Chucky Cheese with pizza replaced by Sushi and games replaced with Sake Bombs and grinding.

SOUND LEVEL Unbearably loud. Nearly impossible to maintain a conversation

RECOMMENDED DISHES Edamame, Salmon sushi.

WINE LIST Non-existant. Cocktails and Sake-Bombs are popular.

PRICE RANGE Appetizers, $4-$10; entrees, $7 to $24.

HOURS Mon-Thurs, Sunday 6:00pm-12:00am, Fri. & Sat. 21+, 2 hour shows at 6, 8 & 10:30pm

RESERVATIONS Recommended. They will take walk ins for smaller parties.

CREDIT CARDS No split charges.

WHEELCHAIR ACCESS Accessible, however, it would be extremely difficult to maneuver between the tables.