{For the Dining and Wine section of the New York Times}HOLLYWOOD, CALIFORNIA.
Only a ten minute subway ride outside of downtown L.A., North Hollywood—referred to as NoHo by tourists—is a small 'arts district' nestled in San Fernando Valley, an extremely divided, ethnically and socioeconomically diverse region. Frayed and faded posters boast about the numerous restaurants, playhouses, art galleries and small businesses in the area. The sidewalks are littered with empty Cheetos bags and weeds poking through the pavement.
Locals warn tourists to stay downtown, that "there's really nothing to do once you get down there," implying that all the advertisements are a hoax. But they say if you are going to go, you have to check out the one-and-only Tokyo Delve's Sushi Bar .
Located on Lankershim Blvd, the busiest street in the district, the bar is easy to pick out. The four imposing 'security guards' manning the entrance wearing all black convey the message that visitors are in for a unique experience as they they usher guests into a red roped-off area against the side of the black, wooden building. Middle-aged women wearing skin-tight, zebra print dresses in an array of colors pull their readjust their bras as they try to keep their balance in their 3” stilettos.
Foot tattoos and boyfriends in bowling shirts seem to be part of the dress code.
Pigeons and flies swarm around Tokyo's neon sign, eyeing the impatient diners.
After over a twenty minute wait to get in to the bar, the security guard-bouncers hand out neon-pink wristbands to the diners who could show they are over 21.
They let the groups in individually and gradually. DJ Joe steps outside to greet the patrons as he lets down the rope barrier.
As the doors opens, guests are shoved into the bumping dining room, music blasting throughout the empty, windowless space. Waiters clap and cheer as DJ Joe escorts diners to their tables. The whole scene resembles some sort of exuberant athletic event. The tables are set up like a high school cafeteria, in cramped rows that are difficult to maneuver unless your hips are actually the size of a sophomore's.
There is no indication outside of the building that Tokyo Delve is affiliateated with anything Irish, which makes the decor even more shocking. The wallpaper is made up of 3D shamrocks against a hideous white background, like a lucky-charms themed birthday party gone wrong. With St. Patrick’s Day a week away, the decor is unexpected. However, any frequent diner—the select few—knows that Tokyo is never without a theme. Currently, the restaurant is decked out for the St. Sake Bomb Celebration in honor of the patron saints of Ireland, but April will bring the Shower of the Stars theme, and if guests can hold out until September, the popular Sumo Love Story celebration.
Behind the emerald splendor, a gargantuan, eye-less shark head thrusts out of the wall. A still disco ball dangles from the ceiling amidst a net of Christmas lights intertwined with Chinese lanterns. The signs along the walls commanding "Kiss our sushi chefs, they're Irish" and "Happy St. Patty's Day" confirmed that the bar is not consistently filled with green, just for this week's festive theme.
The waiters assume that the visitors will be drinking, offering cocktails and sake before guests are even seated. Sake bombs abound. Nearly every table comes equipped with a plastic keg and a set of four beer mugs. The waiters, adorned in shamrock green shirts, chant along with the customers as the men bellow and the women screech “I yell sake, you yell bomb, SAKE! BOMB! SAKE! BOMB!” and pound on the table until the porcelain cups tumble into the golden, glass mugs.
It is impossible to have a conversation at Tokyo. In order to hear each other, everyone is forced to lean into the center of the table and shout over the music and other rowdy guests.
One dismayed customer confided in her table and said she “wants to work in a cubicle.”
Tokyo Delve's menu is impressive in size, but not in selection. The options are standard and uninteresting with tacky names like dynamite, red ninja and volcano. The menu also indicates that Tokyo specializes in large-group parties, ranging from bachelorette parties to baby showers and break-up parties.
Every night DJ Joe hosts a birthday dance-off where the individuals who are there celebrating are asked to stand on chairs and dance. Two twin young women wearing matching white, skin-tight, spandex dresses and gold necklaces won the competition, their birthday hats askew and their dresses dangerously close to revealing their unmentionables. One waiter spanked one of the twins after she accepted her prize and DJ Joe admitted that he would “go home and make babies with [his] wife while thinking about [the twins].”
The staff at Tokyo are disrespectful and demanding. The food took over a half an hour to arrive and many guests' drinks were diminished and never re-filled.
The best think Tokyo has going for them is there performance energy. The fun-loving chefs interact with the guests, judging the dance contests, talking with the DJ, all while serving up beautifully placed rolls.
The Rock 'N Roll specialty roll sounds tantalizing with shrimp tempura enveloped in avocado, shredded carrots and rice, smothered with fried onions and sliced jalapenos. After a few sake bombs, it might possibly look professional. The chef scattered golden brown onions around the plate and served the rolls leaning against each other in a domino affect. The shrimp tempura is difficult to find, it is surrounded by so much excess rice. The star of the roll is, sadly, the jalapneno. The spiciness overpowers the rest of the roll until it is nearly inedible. The combination of the avocado, onion and pepper leave no room for the shrimp to shine.
The Yummy Yummy Roll is just as disappointing. Made with a creamy combination of avocado and cream cheese wrapped in rice, the dish sounds like it could be a scrumptious vegetarian option. However, the dish promises salmon, and barely delivers. There is no actual fish inside the roll. On top, the chefs adorn the roll with ground salmon and a ‘dynamite’ sauce that leaves you thinking “ow” instead of “POW!” The roll itself is mushy and falls apart easily.
A mid-meal chicken dance is an unwanted interruption for some diners as waiters scamper around from table to table pulling resistant guests out of their seats, encouraging them to participate. One waiter even lifted the chair out from under a guest. The group YMCA sessions retracted from the experience, making it seem even more forced and uncomfortable. The waiters also did more dancing than serving, breaking out into several flash-mob style performances, including one to N*SYNC's Bye Bye Bye, climaxing with DJ Joe appearing shirtless wearing a fake, plastic 8-pack strapped to his chest before getting groped by the female diners who were within reach.
If guests can find a way to avoid the demanding wait staff, they might be able to take a bite of their food before their tempura turns to sponge instead of the intended crunch.
The Tempura California Roll is listed as a staff favorite on the menu, and for obvious reasons. The traditional, local role is reasonably priced and tasty, if you're looking for the fast-food equivalent to sushi. It makes sense that the rambunctious diners at Tokyo would enjoy the 'cooked' roll because what goes better with a keg of beer than fried balls? If guests are looking to pair their beer with a roll of sushi, this is the way to go. But if you're looking for a fresh bite of sushi, you’re a fish out of water.
The vegetarian roll should be removed from the menu immediately. The chefs at Tokyo should be embarrassed to offer the item on the menu. Made up of a bulky head of broccoli, carrots and avocado, the roll is bland and unimaginative. It appears that the chefs merely found a 90s veggie tray and wrapped it wrapped in over-cooked rice. Even dipping it in the house spicy mayo—squeezed from a ketchup bottle—doesn’t give the roll enough flavor to be considered enjoyable.
The only dish that diverges from the gaudy menu is the nigirizushi. A delicate piece of orange-pink fish placed perfectly across a bed of white rice bring aesthetrelief to the table. The downfall of the dish is that along with the two generous pieces of salmon sushi comes a lone lemon wedge. It is unclear if the lemon is meant to be squeezed over the fish or if it is merely on the plate for presentation. If the chefs thought they were doing a service to diners, they were disappointedly mistaken. Tokyo muddled the preciously simple dish.
If diners flail their arms enough—not during the Y.M.C.A. number, of course—they might be able to wave down their server and receive their over-priced bill. After dining at the bar, it is clear that at Tokyo, guests are paying for more than a meal, they are paying for a performance. A sloppy, drunken, brazen performance.
FAIR
Tokyo Delves Sushi Bar 5239 Lankershim Blvd. North Hollywood CA. 1.818.766.3868
ATMOSPHERE Like an adult Chucky Cheese with pizza replaced by Sushi and games replaced with Sake Bombs and grinding.
SOUND LEVEL Unbearably loud. Nearly impossible to maintain a conversation
RECOMMENDED DISHES Edamame, Salmon sushi.
WINE LIST Non-existant. Cocktails and Sake-Bombs are popular.
PRICE RANGE Appetizers, $4-$10; entrees, $7 to $24.
HOURS Mon-Thurs, Sunday 6:00pm-12:00am, Fri. & Sat. 21+, 2 hour shows at 6, 8 & 10:30pm
RESERVATIONS Recommended. They will take walk ins for smaller parties.
CREDIT CARDS No split charges.
WHEELCHAIR ACCESS Accessible, however, it would be extremely difficult to maneuver between the tables.
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